Friday, August 14, 2015

The Grid Monitor Reports - Second Life Infractions Worthy of Getting Upset About - The Unsafe House.

Have you ever laid awake at night worrying about whether Second Life is Safe for all of us?  Worrying about whether everyone knows if what they are doing is good enough for you?  Worrying about what you think?  I do.  I worry that you are worried about what I am worried about.  So I decided to do the humane thing and put you all out of your worry. 

You can send me gifts to thank me.  It is entirely appropriate.  Entirely.

Here is a random house I scoped out.  I don't know who it belongs to and no idea who the designer is.  I realize that there will be those among you who will immediately figure all that out and because you are deeply concerned about these people you probably have never spoken to, but I am sure are worth sucking up to, you will run and tell them.  You should know I have protective gear on and am completely vaselined.   I am ready for the tar and feathering for those who cannot control that primal instinct within them.  I would tell you I mean no offense and that it is purely for my amusement and if any of you take this seriously you need to get on the bus parked on the corner that is taking everyone who needs one, to Walmart later for the big "sense of humour" sale this weekend.  The target of my criticism is nowhere near as important as the sentiments I am trying to stir.  Think of me like a fluffer.  I will get you all riled up and then you can unleash yourself on the personal people you were going to unleash on anyway.  You name names and go for the specific jugular and I will do the nondiscriminatory fluffing.

LOOK AT THIS KITCHEN!!  Are you kidding me?

First of all, where is the drain board for the dish rack?  And with a lipped sink, what good would it do?  THIS is why people should finish Junior High and learn physics.  Water cannot drain uphill.  And where is the puddle of water, if it is meant to be this way? I mean if I  just put my foot in my mouth and this is meant to be a training kitchen for safety and the engine has all kinds of safety hazards to overcome then there should be a puddle of water to slip in.    Is this a slip and slide, survival game?  Or perhaps it is a joke kitchen, or an ambulance kitchen that summons the ambulance once the avatar falls and hurts itself slipping in the water that drained onto the floor.  Oh wait, how could there be any injury with all the padding?  Breasts and Asses, focused bubble wrap!

OK then look at this!!   

There had better not be a single line about this being a health kitchen in the advertising because it is clearly not gluten free.  Bastards!  And Yeast?!  Hello, women have issues with yeast.  Where is the freaking love???

Next we have cups of hot liquid left lying around all over the house where the poor pets can get scalded and die.

Where is PETA when you need them?  And cigarettes?   Hello Cancer, fundraising drives, mixed messages?  Let's not assume intelligence in our avatars that does not exist.  Simple, direct, consistent words.  Said often, said loud.  Like I am yelling right now.  Standing on my chair and yelling. STOP IT!

And finally we have "wash your hands" over the toilet bowl!! 

NEVER assume that your guests have the ability to free associate and can make the monumental leap of washing the hands and using the sink that is way over on the other side of the room.  If fecal matter can leap from the toilet to the tooth brush with a single flush, imagine what happens when you place your hands IN the toilet.

I tried to yellow tape the entire building and have it declared a crime scene but I was not allowed to project-rez on someone else's land.  They can ban my avatar but no-one is protected from drive by judging.  For all I know, with those stupid new "make me invisible when I am on my land" powers, the people in that house could have been screaming on the floor, already having broke their hip.  Their pets might be dead beside them, and the paramedics might have been washing their hands in the toilet before rushing to help.

Until next time, carry on, and remember, lets be careful out there and more concerned with what everyone else is doing and if they are doing it right.

(NO I was not in someone else's house uninvited.  I cammed into a house that was near a landing spot.  I have consulted a bunch of people on social media who say I cannot be stoned for what I did.I have a license for my camera and it was not concealed at any time.  Also, if God did not want me judging everyone he would not let me TP next to things that make me look.)

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