Thursday, August 20, 2015

The Mighty Jump Suit

Ok jump suits, great idea!  You put them on, they look great.  No need to worry about anything needed to be tucked or retucked.  Long clean lines.  Boyfriend is like "wow."

One small problem.

Doing anything other than standing there looking fantastic.


See, when the blouse and the pants are applied and the body stretches, they can move further up or down on your body allowing the middle part, while perhaps bared, to accordion out and give you more length.  The point is, "No-one DIES!"  

I realize that we girls do not have the same genital sensitivities that men do but that does not mean we are completely "ouchy" free.  The main culprit is when you are in a onesie  and the material does not accordian/stretch/pull apart/give in any way.  That means that the strongest point - the seam that is in your crotch, pulls up and becomes like a single narrow band of steel, now trying to meet your belly button, accessing it through your fragile nether parts. 

So you don't sit, or reach for anything, of lift your arms at all ... even sipping wine can be painful if you are not careful and depending on the structure of the garment.

Forget going to the bathroom, unless you have room to pray and make burnt offerings, completely undress, hang it up, pee, and redress without anyone being the wiser.  If you skip the praying part you are pretty much guaranteed that will be the exact moment the cops raid the place, a fire breaks out, the lock on your stall or the door fails, and your worst enemy or the one guy you would give anything to date, will suddenly be in there with you, admiring you in all your splendiforous glory.   That is ... NUDE splendiforous glory  ... assuming your splendiforous IS glorious.

And then if you happen to meet the guy of your dreams and he is kissing you and  you want to sit down, or maybe even are open to a little more attention .... one of two things will happen.   You either end up completely naked to accommodate the little more attention and suddenly your name is under the "slut" section of the bathroom reading wall, cross referenced with the nympho section.... OR the paramedics have to be called in.  When they have to bring in the jaws of life to cut your new boy toy free because he tried to be intimate but his parts got stuck in your jump suit and now his arm may have to be amputated because you both stood up at the same time and then someone twisted and there was no going back, and now his arm has been without any blood supply for far too long . . . it can be a real relationship killer.  I don't know of any relationships that started with one of the partners making the other handicapped, that has survived past .,. mmm ... the restraining order.

Which kind of leads you to the elephant question in the room . . . Why the heck would anyone call it a "jump" suit being as no-one jumps in it and lives?  

Would that be a definition of "cruelty,"  "irony," or "insanity?"


I would put up my hand to answer but I am wearing a jump suit and my nether parts are still in a cast from the last time I wore this thing.

SKIN:   .:WoW Skins::. V2 Masha
HAIR:  ""D!va"" Hair "Tessa" (Cat's eye)
EYES:  Egozy..Eyes Intense Collection
LASHES:  ATIA's Whisper Lashes
OUTFIT:  -David Heather-Palazzo Jumpsuit/Lavender
COLLAR:  {Indyra} Blackened Rose Bolero: Color Change
JEWELLERY:  (Yummy) Gold &  White Pearl Set
POSES:  Tuty
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