Friday, October 23, 2015

In My Spare Time I Misbehave

lounge kitty 1

I like to go to the furniture places in SL and jump on the couches and the bed.  It is lots of fun.  When you try that stuff in Rl people get bent all out of shape.

I think it is because Rl limits us  in ways that SL does not.  First of all wearing evening gowns to furniture stores is frowned upon for a few reasons.  You make all the other women look like complete crap and it can ruin marriages.  One minute a couple are shopping for a new coffe table and the next he is trying to trade hid wife in on a new model.  Literally. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Name Game

Long weekend 1

I always wonder about names.  Like, does the name you choose predetermine their destiny?  

I am pretty convinced it does. 

"Tiffany" works fashion or beauty.   "Bambi" is a stripper.  "Elizabeth" works in health care and "Olivia" is a lawyer.

I've never heard of a "Cheeves" or a "Jeeves" as a president or a doctor.  They always seem to be chauffers or butlers.  

Monday, October 19, 2015

Just Like Nature Except Not As Fluffy

waiting on the day 1

The weather is getting warmer and I love being outside, hanging with my favourite tree in my yard.   I love trees.  I think it is because they have been here forever and have seen so many things and I wonder about that.  They seem so wise and they listen so well. 

Sunday, October 18, 2015

The Art of Losing The Win.

I'll try again next year 1

Aren't our lives blessed by the internet and all the information it imparts?  What I like best is that you can take an idea and run with it.  Someone decides that you can crochet a skirt from old underwear and shows you how to.  You can take that, pick up some old sweat socks and jock straps and make lace to add as an embellishment.  You can see a picture made of beer bottle caps and decide you could also make a wedding dress from them  (and add the lace that you previously made).

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Plump Up The Volume

so quiet in the ruins 1

I am not sure about this one but I heard that there is a treatment they use in Bangkok to increase breast size and to reduce wrinkling etc.

Let me describe: Take hands, slap the crap out of face or breasts, repeat, repeat, repeat vigorously, stop, wait a few moments, good to go.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

My Bat Beats Your Bat, Hands Down

bats in the belfry 1

We have little bats in Canada . . . little teeny bats that could pass for slightly plump moths.

And that crap about them flying into long hair on purpose .. . Pulllease .... Bats are not blind.  In fact, once on a late night trip out by the haystacks to sneak a kiss with my boyfriend, a bat flew into his short hair and skipped mine completely.  Those are respectful bats.  Those are Canadian bats.  

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Getting Culturized


I did a craft class once where we made Oriental hair sticks for our hair.  They bought chop sticks  which many of the boys immediately sharpened into weapons.

It was a summer camp and we were being culturally stimulated.   Some kids were making Mexican pinatas and we were doing Oriental hair sticks.  Can I tell you how lucky we felt?  You might want to re-experience the excitement by leaping in the air and shouting "wooo haaaa."  It's part of the multi dimensional blog experience I offer by encouraging readers to recreate my most incredible moments.  Bliss .. the gift that keeps on giving.

Saturday, October 10, 2015


Cosmopolitan 3rd Anniversary Contest (1)

What you can't see off screen is the pinata, the ambulance, and the wounded bodies.

I tried to talk people out of having a pinata.  I warned them that I was incredibly competitive.  Why don't people listen to one another more?  I was using my outdoor voice and everything.

The really pretty lady announced that they were going to play games and I said, "Oh No, maybe we shouldn't.  Did you get the note from my mom warning that I don't play well with others, you should hide all weapons and anything that could be used as a weapon - please do not under estimate my genius when it comes to making weapons out of simple things like bananas and a block of tofu, and absolutely no games - I am incredibly competitive, consider all games, even bible charades,  as contact sports and frequently end my games only when the other people are injured, maimed, or dead."

I was still invited.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

The Beginning of a Fashion Dream

cloudless climes 3

I was big into hoop skirts as a kid.  I fondly referred to them as "skirt tents."  I say that because I want you to be impressed at my desire and ability to use real fashion terms even as a child.  You may not have heard of "skirt tents" yet, but you will .. they are sure to be a big thing ... soon ... keep watching...

My gateway drug was a nursery rhyme book with Mary hiding her lamb and several others under her "tent."  I figured 5 lambs equaled one cow and hey ... cows were currency on the farm.  I didn't have a corner store to hold up or diamonds hidden in a vault to pawn ... so cows it had to be.  If they had auctions for them there had to be a livestock pawn shop somewhere.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

Life's Lessons


I tried to help keep my grandparent's illusions alive.  I think it is really cruel the way some kids just blurt out that most of the stuff parents teach you is crap.  We have some responsibility to be kind to our parents ... or at least to not do them any harm.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

I Am Not Dead Yet, But It Could Happen At Any Moment.


I think I ate a bug  . . and I might die.

I was home alone, calmly eating an apple.  I am allowed to do things like that alone ... at home .. . unattended .... on my own.   And I bit into the apple and took a big bite.  Then I chewed and chewed and swallowed and then the phone rang or something - I can't remember all the exact details because I am suffering with PTSD from the whole thing and my therapist said that I have probably blocked some of it to prevent myself from being triggered and losing it all over innocent people's heads.  

When I got back to my work and the half eaten apple lying on the desk, I almost died.  I had bitten through to the core and what was clearly a grotesque, rotten, slimy mess, black and orange and grossly grotesque, that had been created by some kind of bug/worm ... thing.  (I had to type and retype "thing" 473 times just now because my hands are shaking so bad from the memory)

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Look Up!


I don't think anyone has ever looked up at the clouds in the sky and seen me.

People see elephants and kittens and an old man.   No-one says, "Oh wow, doesn't that look like Bliss?  That beautiful cloud over there, the one that looks all amazing fashionista and stuff?"  Well at least if they have, no-one has told me they have.