Sunday, November 1, 2015

The Great Escape

tunnel vision 1

My brother and I made several attempts to escape the farm before we finally succeeded - me having worn out the ill equipped teachers at the little school on the prairie resulting in a town meeting, a huge collection of money and stern threats if they did not ship me off to a better school where they could find new stuff to keep me entertained, and my brother . . . in the back of a police car.

tunnel vision 2

We lived in middle earth but without any compelling story to make it charming, or hobbits to have adventures, or any magic .  We just got the earth part and being in the "middle" of nowhere.  We tried to dig our way out.

There was a root cellar.  Someone had tried to escape, dug so far and died.  When the spring thaw came they went looking and found that person dead but the turnips and potatoes in his knapsack were in surprisingly good condition - hence all farmers started storing their veggies in a root cellar.  Some are still doing it.  It takes a long time for some people to trust modern conveniences.

We were really enthusiastic at first.  My brother pointed out that we could dig straight through the earth and end up in China.  That sounded pretty awesome as we both loved Chinese food.  But a couple of things happened to squash that idea.  One was that our cousins from the states told us the same story - that they could dig through and end up in China.  I pointed out that they were in the US and we were in Canada and being as we were 2 of the bigger countries in the world, what was the likelihood that we could both dig from our perspective countries and both end up in China?  We sang a rousing chorus of "liar, liar, pants on fire."  My brother was still not convinced, stating that perhaps the curvature of the earth redirected you so you ended up at the same spot.  A church service about hellfire and damnation with the minister constantly pointing down and an encyclopaedia  that showed the centre of the earth as being fire (and undoubtedly hidden damnation) was the final determent from us digging downward.  You had to go through hell to get to China and we weren't THAT fond of Chinese food.

We dug sideways.

We got quite a tunnel.  Evidently that whole thing about it taking considerable time for a child's brain to finish development is pretty accurate.  Turns out several meters is NOT to the end of the earth.  When we finally hit daylight we discovered that our ability to discern a straight line was also still developing.  We came out just underneath our grandparents bedroom window.  Believe me, no-one ever wanted to escape any root cellar to end up under my grandparents bedroom window, no matter how old the vegetables down there were or how long the sprouts from the potatoes had grown or how many cows they had taken prisoner in their tangled quest for sunlight. 

We did what any group of brilliant minded people who work their butts off to accomplish a dream only to have it fail do.  We turned on one another.  We were so busy blaming each other and trying to kill the other one that the entire summer passed and we had to go back to school.

tunnel vision 3

You can't dig to freedom in the janitors basement work room with only a plastic lunch pail.  You can however, skip classes, eat, make out and work on one of you passing your drivers test as soon as possible.  You can also organize how to steal a vehicle so that you can all escape together.

Note:  A tractor is NOT the best choice of an escape vehicle.  There is a reason you never see any high speed police chases that involve a tractor, on the evening news.  It is incredibly humiliating to have the Royal Canadian Mounted Police overtake you on the highway ... on horseback.


SKIN:  ryuukou verl caramel
HAIR:  Magika - 01 - Listen
EYES:  Clemmm Fract Eyes Black
LASHES:  ATIA's Whisper Lashes
NAILS:  A&A FAshion  Dangerous Nails2010/black
NECKLACE:  Vintage & Cool Fair - Gift Box {Indyra} Heirloom Necklace
ONE PIECE:   OVH.JP Aria . Wine
BOOTS:  (Kunglers  ) Valquiria overknee boots - Red
POSES:  Bauhaus


SKIN:  .::WoW Skins::. Nina Bronze
HAIR:  MINA - Daisy - Pastel
EYES:  Clemmm Fract Eyes Black
LASHES:  ATIA's Whisper Lashes
TOP:  [SE*Designz] Gaga Crystal Body
SKIRT:  Seul - Bulma Skirt - Cobalt fringe
NECKLACE:  =Zenith=Ribbon Necklace
NECKLACE:  OVH.Sweet Necklace
CUFFS:  Kunglers  Cosmo 3rd Anniversary Gift Box

NAILS:  **Feel**Jewelry & Accessory Expo GiftNail
SHOES:   Ever An' Angel Doodle Smexy Pumps- Teal
POSES:  Bauhaus
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