Friday, January 15, 2016

A Hole in One, or Two . . .


Holes in the pants as fashion.  

I tried that with nylons.  The first time I got a run in my nylons, my grandmother looked down at my legs and gasped so loud everyone turned to see what the problem was.  She was an expert at making it look like it was me by scolding me to be quiet.  She pointed at the hole in my nylons in complete disgust.  I tried to argue that this is what happens when you have to scoot down an old wooden bench in church.  Why is that no-one walks to where they want to sit and then sit down?  What is the point of sitting down at the end and scooting along  like complete idiots?  And why was she yelling at me, take it up with the janitor who hadn't polished the damn things enough to keep all the little bits and pieces shellacked into place.

She took me by the arm and marched me to the outhouse, through the snow.  Nothing like an outhouse in the middle of a barren winter field behind the church in the middle of a barren winter field because back in the pioneer days all the farmers wanted to be fair.  Instead of building a picturesque church in the middle of the town, they got in their horse and buggies from all their farms and rode inward until they met up ... you guessed it . . . in the middle of nowhere!!  THAT was where they built the church. 

75 years later it was still in the middle of nowhere with no running water, hence the outhouse. Apparently no-one ever wanted to live in the middle of nowhere, hence it was still in the middle .... of nowhere . . .   In the winter you prayed you would not freeze to death if you had to pee.  Sometimes they had to tie a line from the front door of the church to the outhouse so you could find your way back in a snow storm.   In the summer it was the smell and the flies that almost killed you.  No-one wanted to pee.  We became the thunder thigh generation of the prairies.  Most of us developed bladder problems from trying to hold on until church was over. 

My grandmother produced an extra pair of nylons from her purse.  Hers.  I think there is a reason they labelled those things extra small, small, medium etc.   It was way before the invention of "one size fits all, that's for sure."  There was no way her extra large was ever going to fit my stick legs.  Didn't matter how much nylon the garter belt could hold, they still make my legs look like I suffered from some type of elephant skin condition.    Me shuffling back to my seat, nylons puddling from my shoes onto the floor was damn attractive.  THIS was preferable to a teeny little snagged hole that she assured me would run eventually.

A girls reputation evidently could never recover from wearing nylons with a run in them.

Those damn nylons often ran as soon as you clipped them in.  No point in ever buying one pair . . . you needed at least 3 pair to make it through the night.   Then they came up with pantyhose and the whole trying to sell them to us because they came in a nifty plastic"egg" so someone could make a bundle off the play on words .  "Legs" and "eggs" became "l'eggs."  We didn't have adult coloring books back then, we took our creativity in whatever way it came . . . sometimes, like in this case, driven to it by insanity.

I had kids by the time people started embracing ripped nylons as fashion.   

Not sure why we just don't go naked and tell people that we were dressed when we went out in the morning and the holes just took over.  We have more holes than clothing, and if you do Second Life, now with mesh, most everyone you see is completely naked anyways.    PFFT ... like they actually have clothes on in THEIR viewer, or their dress looks great with their settings and windlight.  It kind of makes you wonder why everyone got all bent out of shape over the "adult" sim being kept away from the kids and general public.  Hide the boobs, vaginas and penises from the kids and the church going folk!!! 

I haven't seen a fully dressed avatar anywhere I land in Second Life for Ages.

The "holes" are taking over, in more ways than one.

SKIN:  .::WoW Skins::. 2016 Anais BronzeHAIR:  Magika - 01 - Hearts Like Ours
EYES:  IKON Kaleido Eyes - Oil
LASHES:  ATIA's Whisper Lashes
MAKE-UP:  #adored - last night - smoke pack
EARRINGS:  Indy and Co.  Maelle
KNOTTED SHIRT:  Tee*fy Laura Unbuttoned Knotted Shirt White
LEGGINGS:  _CandyDoll_Asuna Leggings Rose
SHOES:  N-core LACE "Pale Pink"
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