Sunday, March 13, 2016

It's A Real Bummer!

saving drama for the llamas 1 

I really enjoy watching women and their skirts.

You have the women of the code who wear the skirt exactly as it was intended, and then the ones that break all the rules. You have the girls who go through school with the skirt not a smidge above the school guidelines and the hem their moms sewed in, and then the ones that roll it up as far as they possibly can, risking a bit of a tummy roll over the benefits of showing some thigh. These fearless women take on life full on. They are not afraid to roll the skirt up, hike it up over their breasts and call it a dress . . . whatever it takes.

There was a mom of one of the girls at school whose article of clothing was always slipping off her boobs. And it was not because they were tiny, oh no! These were massive watermelon orbs who had worn down the enthusiastic, taut muscles of youth until they were holding on to the weighted melons with their fingernails only, screaming with pain. Even her knees whimpered in pain from the constant bashing they took from the hanging watermelons. I was never sure if she thought she was sexy or whether she was incredibly dumb and did not realize that a skirt almost always goes with some kind of a top. I do know that babies who were born during that time grew up with a profound sense of disappointment in their mothers. Us older kids grew up traumatized from the view of things one would rather not, SHOULD never have to, see.

Grandma said it was not polite to stare or to say anything.

I spent my childhood pretending I was not seeing boobilage. It makes me a really good person to have in facebook groups because I am not shocked by the occasional nipple and not prone to telling on people. I did not scream in shock when women later burned their bras and I calmly explained body changes to my daughters without causing them undo shame.

What amuses me most is the women who look at themselves in the mirror and get their skirt as short as they can, without getting arrested (see paragraph above regarding Facebook tattle tales). They always seem to forget they have a bum, and while the skirt, lying flat in the front, manages to cover “matilda,” that bum is going to need a tad bit more material . . . unless the object is to have the lower cheeks winking.

There are a lot of winking cheeks, and that is before they even “tip the little teapot” in any increment of measure. And I love the ones that then put a business jacket over top, like people are going to completely focus on the “business” going on upstairs, and be immune to the nakedness going on in the basement.

It is the most fun when you see the new female lawyers. You have the ones that refused to brush their hair or put a lick of lipstick on, so intent are they on being appreciated for their brains, and then the ones that select very smart, tailored suits . . . with the shortest skirt possible. They will pull their hair back as tight as they can get it, into a bun, and shovel on the immaculate paint, sculpting a scowl with blush and bronzer and their nightly mouth exercises. Their papers are organized to almost non-existant. Their heels are tall, black stilettos, and their legs have but a tiny bank of cover that iI beautifully tailored to barely cover both the back and front. They have no need to bend anything – the world bends for these women . . . any way they want it to. Their bits and pieces will never be revealed until the lucky winner has paid all the necessary tolls, passed all the exams, and proven his back account worthy.

And then . . . you have the clerks whose family are the ones all over Facebook saying “Oh you are drop dead gorgeous,” or “You look beautiful,” or “No that skirt is not too short, you are rocking it,” and, “You go girl!!” She thinks she looks like the lawyers and so she buys a short skirt and throws on her robe for the courtroom, unaware of the lack of back door coverage for the barely there front of the skirt. She struts with great confidence across the floor, tossing her loose hair, a fake eyelash flinging across the room .


saving drama for the llamas 2

I see everything because I am an adult now and my grandmother is no longer the boss of me. I can look if I want to.

I am getting older and when I meet with other older women, we need to be disgusted with what younger women are doing and wearing. We make it matter of concern for ourselves because it allows us to trash them while seeming morally superior and not petty bitter old women who are no longer as beautiful or as fit as we once were. We are too liberated to say we hate them because they are younger and more beautiful so we complain about the length of their skirts and make it say something about them.

Old wives are just nasty old women who make stuff up to make themselves feel better. Did you actually believe that anyone should go to bed with mustard plastered on their chest? BAHAHAHAHAHA.

I just hiked my skirt up over my chest . I have to find some pants to put on. My bum has spread. It is now lumping up my stomach area as well.

SKIN:  DeeTaleZ Skin A.T.W. Kimber [Makeup] Mixedtype
HAIR:  Magika [01] Gone
EYES:   Egozy.Eyes Illuminate Turquoize
LASHES:  [Hush] BONUS Lush Lashes
TOP:  h.m.a.e.m. - Enrietta - shirt - black
SKIRT:  OVH.Lola Skirt . Crem
LEGGINGS:  Veechi - Lace Top thigh Highs
SHOES:  Essenz - Brussels
SASHES:  Bowtique - Sash Accessory

SKIN:  7 Deadly s{K}ins - Shen
HAIR:  rezology Over the Top
EYES:   Egozy.Eyes Illuminate Turquoize
LASHES:  [Hush] BONUS Lush Lashes
TEETH:  Open Mouth Tattoos by ATIA's  Heartbreaker
TOP:  Neve by Cold Logic neve top - easy neutral
SKIRT:   h.m.a.e.m. - Sana Skirt grey
SHOES:  Essenz -Vintage & Cool Fair - Gift Box
JEWELLERY:  (Kunglers) Akha - golden/green
RING:  Cae :: Charmed :: Tied :: Ring
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