Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Time Out - At The Beach.


It has been a bad week, what can I say?  You know there is the bad type of week where you recognize you are having a bad time and you need help, and so you stop and take yourself to the beach and spend some time walking along it, getting everything into perspective?   And you breathe in and out, deep breaths, and the world suddenly falls into perspective again and this rainbow cone of beautiful light suddenly envelopes you and unicorns appear and angels sing? You come back from those recoveries not only able to cope with the crap in your life but you can "ommm" your way through rush hour traffic or numerous herds of cows all over the road.  You can take the most hateful teenager and crochet homilies and life lessons into their brains in between the swear words they are hurling at you until you are both sitting down and eating homemade cookies and drinking milk and the teen apologizes, tells you they love you and that you are the best mom ever.  You even use your quiet inside voice with your aging mother when she tells you, again - the over and over type of again - that you look like you have put on weight and you should have married the minister's son. 

Those are the types of recoveries where you look at your library full of the manuals and tapes you gathered at all the Eckhart Tolle type of seminars you attended over the years and don't feel at all resentful that they represent enough money thrown away spent to have probably allowed you to buy peace and happiness, or at least the drugs that would make you hallucinate enough that your whole world seemed like you were always at the beach ... with the unicorns. After such a perfect day taking time for yourself, you know, that even though you can't remember a damn thing from any seminar that you are supposed to do to obtain a perfectly peaceful life, that something had to slip in and work because here you are, back from the beach, healing the world with your calm, peaceful presence.

OK, like that never even happens.  Faking it 'til you make it just pisses me off.  But I am trying really hard to be open to the idea that good things can happen and that they may even actually happen in other people's lives … sometimes ….as unfair as that would be… and that good people are somehow able to allow the happiness of others to not just make them even more bitter.

Nope, there are no types of bad weeks.  Just one.  The "it completely sucks" type of week.  Often these drag on for months and even years.  You go to the beach and it is crowded with laughing happy people.  So you bury a couple of kids completely in the sand and throw yapping dogs in for the sharks.  It doesn't help to calm you down but at least you are doing something about your out of control emotions.  You are sharing them.   In meaningful, productive ways.

And the thing is that the bad day has nothing to do with you.  You are a complete victim.  It is all the other assholes in the world that infringe on your peaceful happy existence.  Case in point . .. your husband … breathing.


So in conclusions, I would like to end this debate by stating that Yes, I am all for assisted dying.

Especially if I get to assist the people I think should die.

DeeTaleZ*Appliers* LeLuka Heads "Face Heaven" European
HAIR:  .Shi Hair : Blown {Monochrome . Unisex}
EYES:   Egozy.Eyes Illuminate Turquoize
TATTOO:  [White~Widow] Suspicion - Black
DRESS:  .::PiCHi::. LELA Dress
EARRINGS:  MG - Earrings - Amalfi Summer Nights
BOOTS:  ISON - leather strap boots (taupe gray)
Post a Comment