I did a drive along with some cops once as part of a community awareness.
I can't help it if the cop's perspective of the incident was all caught up in the legal documents that said it was court ordered, in the hopes of helping me change my ways before it was too late. I have my own perspective and it is my story and I am choosing happier meanings and outcomes so that I will not be all bogged down with negativity that makes me have cancer because I hold negative energy in my body.
Neither do I want to be the butt of those feel good posters that say get rid of the people who always bring you down with their sad stories. So I just close my eyes tight and click my heels and imagine unicorns and rainbows and sparkles and you would be amazed what an awesome life I now have.
The ride along was an act of community service on my part - to bond with the police and understand their missions. I had a bag of donuts, a thermos of hot coffee, and some cuddle toys in case they needed a time out. I also had a clipboard and a number of suggestions to make.
I had a list of names of people because I wanted them to stop by their houses so I could write them tickets. I just needed to borrow a jacket, a hat and one of their guns. Police officers are not good about sharing their guns, I really think that explains a lot. I had a lot of tickets I wanted to hand out and as long as I was doing a service for the community, I figured I could also take care of some lingering issues for me. I am a woman after all, and multi-tasking is what I do. I was even being sympathetic to the police. I knew they did not have tons of time to hand out these kinds of tickets. That is why I was there, to help them help the community. I would hand out the tickets and I just needed a drive to the houses, some clothes . . . and their guns. I would even forego the clothes. Just give me the guns.
I figured the fine for being a douchebag to me in Grade 2, should have been at least 80, 000.00. Again, consider the kind of policeman's ball that money would buy. Altruistic me, again! They told me there was no douchebag law, let alone a fine structure. They questioned my proficiency with a gun and I pointed out that if they ran and I had to shoot them, missing several times just gave them more opportunities to realize the seriousness of their actions and to surrender. It was a humanitarian thing. If I managed to shoot them first time, then they could rest assured God had spoken and their douchiness had been reported by the angels. The police locked the doors in the back of the car and closed the cage window. Am I the only one that sees the cracks and understands WHY the world is increasingly becoming more lawless and out of control?
How many people might have been stopped from a life of crime had they been ticketed with douchebagginess in their youth? How many others might have been kept from snapping and going postal had someone douchebag ticketed their tormentors at some point? It would have been evidence that the police cared and then people might not have ever taken to calling them "pigs." It is a rule written somewhere that people who lash out are usually those who have been themselves, victimized. "Pig" callers are just wounded victims of unpunished douchiness and the police are to blame for that. It is the vicious circle of relentless douche which is much more moving and powerful than the Circle of Life, and you would see that if we could find some majestic animal to stand in silhouette on a mountain while someone sings a moving song about it. It would help if Disney backed it too.
While I am at it, I think it is really rude that officers treat their patrol areas like one big theme park and the people are all petting zoo animals roaming the streets. Cops think they can just stop and "pat" us whenever they want. At least when they have petting zoo's with animals, the animals get fed and "petted." We just get beat up or tasered. Hardly seems fair.
Anyway, I tried to build a bridge between the police and the community. I suggested they smile more, get some new animals to ride, maybe camels or even an elephant, instead of just horses … to keep the community interested you know. I thought it might be fun to have a jumping castle at the police station so while people are waiting to be processed they could work off some of that pent-up, drug induced energy. People are less likely to hit one another, or to throw their faeces when they are laughing and having a good time. Besides, jumping builds strong bodies and who can't use more exercise in their health regimen these days?
Police officers could have dress up days and they could pick a theme for the week or something. It would be really cool to see them in one of those two people get-ups . . . like a horse or a dragon. And puppets, think how much easier the arrest process could go if you have a cute puppet helping to put on the handcuffs?
I had some really awesome ideas on that trip.
I think about these things because I care.
And also because sitting in my jail cell, waiting for my arraignment, there is not a lot else to do. Jumping on the other prisoners does not have the same effect as the jumping castle.
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