Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Everyone is Someone's Imaginary Friend.


Imaginary friends have always been part of our family. My brother was this guy Anthony's imaginary friend for years.  We called the whole thing off when Anthony was carted off in a straight jacket because he opened the closet and found my brother hiding behind the vacuum cleaner.  I told my brother he was too real, and completely sucked at being invisible.  Anthony could not believe he wasn't imaginary.  It destroyed him.   He felt so cheated and unspecial knowing that we could all see him.  I tried to cheer him up by telling him we didn't want to see him and that if he wanted I would take my brother out into the woods and hide him better so that no-one would ever find him.  It was too late.  You can't unsee those damn live bodies.  They are littered everywhere we go.

I told my brother he sucked at being invisible and he should probably just move far away to save the family the profound shame we all felt now that he had failed.


My daughter struggled to let go of her imaginary friend.

"Why can't I have an imaginary friend?"
"Because they are not real and children need to play with real children in their own neighbourhoods. At 21 you need to let go, seriously, you have to let go." 
"She's real to me."
"Yes, but when she plays first base for your baseball team, have you noticed she always misses the ball? You don't need friends like that."
"So, because she sucks at baseball, you think I should kick her to the curb? What kind of mom are you? Ha, if there is someone in this relationship who needs to get "real" that would be you.   MOM, do I ever say a word when you talk about Ayla, Ayla, Ayla? Do I? There is no Ayla. There is no Bliss. Grandma says you are whacked you know?"

That is a really tough talk to have with your child but, in the end, we sorted it all out. You know sometimes you try to steer your whacko family back from the land of the fairies to hard cold reality street and sometimes you just lay down with the unicorns and fart sprinkles.  We hugged, promised to never bring the subject up again and I showed her pictures of Grandma at her last bridge club meeting when she had too much sherry and got carried away with the hired stripper who had to file a restraining order against her.  It pretty much cleared up who the whacked one was.

We are all adults here.  We moved on.


Grandma went to live with my brother.  My daughter's baseball team continues to lose and she pretends it is because they need a better pitcher and not because the first baseman keeps missing the ball. I am watching Bliss and Ayla have lunch and both of them are pretending that I am not real.

Life is better this way.  I really do adore happy endings.

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