Saturday, October 1, 2016

It's All About the Butter Cream.


Some women worry that they might not look as good as everyone else. 

They spend hours buying the right dress and primping and preening before the mirror. They have been waxed and shellacked, kneaded and sculpted, cut and dried, fluffed and puffed, lipsticked and powdered ....

I saw a woman once all made up like that and she went to the restaurant and was seated next to the fireplace.  She melted. 

Really when you think about it ... how you look is really about the paint job. We women are like those tacky lawn gnomes all white and plain - handed out to be painted in senior ceramics 101, we are undecorated Christmas trees, we are cakes without icing.

I gave  my girls the whole motherly "you are a flower" talk.   Patting you on the hand is not a teenage non-verbal confirmation that you have been heard.  So I gave her the whole practical "how to" list complete with warnings the drew on every movie, newspaper heading and campfire horror story I had ever read.  I finished with explaining to her that she was not a blank canvas, but a garden gnome and she was in a really tough pottery class and if she did not paint that damn gnome better than anyone else and get an "A," and win a scholarship to Rocket Science school, she would never have even worry about whether she was the fittest gazelle and could fight off the entire lion pack.  No-one would be coming for her.  I think I got everything.  She looked at me in horror. 

I had a 50/50 chance of it being that she was suitably scared.  It was either that or she was calculating, in her head, the cost for me to have institutional, long term psychiatric care. 

I bought her the fashion how-to magazines, all the best make-up $20.00 could buy from the local dollar store and set her free. 

Yup that is what we do as women.

And then we ask the guy who is in jeans and a t-shirt for his opinion on how we look.  Think about that.  We ask the guy who we have to cattle prod to get to do the lawn.  We ask the dude who thinks as long as a Christmas tree has shiny stuff thrown at it and 5000+ Christmas lights it is awesome.  He thinks dressing up is putting on the sweat pants that do not have ketchup stains and that beans and franks WITH beer is a gourmet meal.  I guess none of that matters because even if he had evolved into also using make-up and all the beauty products now being illustrated by previous Harlequin romance artists - no matter what he says, he will be wrong.  And to blame. 

I think God has great compassion for us.  He knew that many of us would get it wrong and so he gave us someone to blame, so we can be gentle with ourselves like all those new age posters say.  Also so we can divorce him, get a ton of money, and be able to buy better beauty products.  Oh, and get new boobs.   Gnome boobs have a short shelf life when it comes to perky. 

I have given up all of that now .. I just close my eyes, walk into my closet and get dressed. I figure I have a one in three chance of looking great. And if not, I will either embarrass the heck out of the kids OR someone might share the loose change from their pocket. As you get older people don't judge you quite as harshly.  Also,  they move you to the front of the buffet lines!!

Its a win win win situation and I save on tons of stress.  I am "letting go."  "I am perfect just the way I am."  It works because I also have my eyes closed most of the time because everywhere you go now someone in a flowing dress, with soft gauzy flowers and shit all around them are telling you to meditate.  I have no idea what I even look like anymore but damn I breathe deeply and I have let go of so much crap … I actually have no idea where any of the kids are anymore.  Beauty really is on the inside. 

No mirrors there!

SKIN:  Lara Hurley-Ale Midtone
BODY PARTS:  SLink FEMALE (Av.Enhance) Hands and Feet
HAIR:  ""D!va"" Hair "Gabriella" (Red amber)
LASHES:  Hush - Lashes - Lush
EYES:  Egozy.Eyes (Turquoize)
DRESS:  Baiastice_Antoine Dress
EARRINGS:  Zibska  Anwyn ~ Earring
SHOES:  Ingenue :: Nina
POSES: PoseSion
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