Tuesday, July 25, 2017

The Suspenseful Suspenders Story

believe 1 

Suspenders are an interesting invention.  Santa Claus and grandpa were pretty much the gateway introduction for me.  My parents tried to gloss over them in their bedtime story reading, but no detail ever escaped my attention. 

I like to speculate how and where things were invented.  Life was pretty simple once upon a time and "necessity was the mother of all invention" they say despite the unkind things written about her on bathroom walls.  She was just a single mom doing the best she could with a really unruly kid.  So I can imagine that someone was having probs with the whole belt concept.  Either they were  "the belt goes through the loops" challenged or "the little metal thingy goes in one of the holes" challenged.  OK, maybe the motivation was that they could not find a belt big enough for someone but were people ever really that fat before McDonalds, potato chips and coke? And besides, it is just as likely that they were invented for a really skinny guy with no butt to keep his pants from sliding off.  

believe 2 

So they came up with a garter belt/bra thing.  It goes over the shoulders like a bra but clips onto your pants like a garter belt.  And then, they decided, of all the things that men wore - you know, drab colours big time boring - these would be colourful and funky even.  Then they had to come up with a name.  Everyone was in suspense to see if they would keep the pants up … so "suspenders" was an easy leap.  (At least in my mind.)

Men snap bras, now women could snap suspenders.  And then, people found Sears and had catalogues that taught them how to dress, as well as intense educational efforts that helped to raise IQ's and hence their ability to dress.  The reign of the suspender was short lived and soon discarded.

Then, of course, with the 70's when everyone was rummaging through old trunks and second hand shops for ragged old clothes to prove they had checked out of the establishment and were complete disrespecting the "man" by not bathing, growing copious amounts of hair and wearing old dirty clothes … they re-found suspenders.  And well … once a guy puts them on and then picks up a guitar or beats on drums ..  with enough drugs, everything is sexy.  

believe 3

Then, in the midst of the feminists running around burning bras and establishing our rights to be just like men and to even do away with men and do each other … a woman picked up a pair of suspenders, put them on and it was game on.  Once she stomped down the runway with them, they were deemed "fashion," and no-one argues with a braless, suspender wearing, fashion designer on LSD.

And they all lived happily after.

The end.

This night time story "Skylar and Windsong, LSD and Suspenders." was brought to you by Golden Books because we are all starships and we are golden and we have to get back to the garden.

MESH BODY:  Maitreya  Mesh Body - Lara
HAIR:  [Entwined] Anna
EYES:  .ARISE. Nona Eyes
TOP:  Addams - Maltida Mesh Top
LEGGINGS:  Addams - Shania Mesh Leggins w/Suspenders
HAT:  AsHmOoT_Acc Coll_Unisex Bowler Hat
SHOES:  REIGN.- Gemma Booties 
Post a Comment