Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Decorating With Turkeys.

turkey decorating 3

Penguins have only one mate their entire life and when they choose a mate, they often make it known by giving them a pebble. Presumably, the whole Penguin gang gathers round and they all make Penguin squealing sounds.  I am pretty sure we just can't hear them because they are a really high frequency that only dogs can hear, which makes complete sense.   Dogs are NOT impressed by pebbles, diamonds. marriage OR National Geographic, why would they bother showing up to celebrate with birds that can't even fly?


turkey decorating 1

So hey, maybe we lost the plot when we started demanding diamonds from men,  then their wallets and then insisting we owned their souls for eternity.  I wonder, just because a man ever looked at us, loved us and/or had sex with us, does that mean they owe us forever?  I thought we were proud we could do it all, it is our body yadda, yadda?  So which is it?  Are we using men for our own purposes as if they are not even human beings?  Hmmm.    Seriously, why do mothers anywhere ever encourage their boys to get married?  It is just too damn dangerous.

So ya, I decided turkeys . . . mainly because she could not get any penguins. Turkeys give nothing. They either don't mate for life or maybe no-one has ever bothered to check? OR maybe, when they all "mysteriously disappear" in the fall, everyone just gets confused? It must be hard to go out in the morning kissing "Tasha" goodbye and then, when you come back at lunch, the farmer puts "Twila" in your bed and thinks Tom will never know the difference. Just because the farmer thinks all turkeys look alike does not mean that the turkeys cannot tell. They can tell. And they care, deeply. Don't ask me how I know this because I have not yet come out about being a turkey whisperer. That is not the kind of thing you just lay on your parent's dinner plate and expect them to understand. You cannot just dash their dreams like that, in one fell swoop. You have to do it in bits and piece, slow motion, or better yet, deflect to your grandma, who is supporting her cat habit by making crack in her greenhouse.

I even got a book on decorating with Turkeys but you can't just glue gun acorns and flowers on them. They scream. Ya, I know, I was surprised too. Turkey's can scream. So between them screaming and me screaming because hot glue is a bitch . . . the neighbours called the SPCA and said I was abusing birds. Now I am not allowed to be within 100 yards of any birds, especially turkeys. I had to hand in the turkeys.

I should be angry but then I thought about it.  I have a legal document that says I can't attend family dinners anymore. There might actually be something to this whole "stumbling blocks becoming stepping stones." I have to see if I have anything in my closet to attend a New Age whatever it is they do. I am going to check out their hangouts … they might have some tofu cookies and know where I can get my hands on some penguins.

I think it is all about the pebble. The pebble makes the commitment real. That makes sense to me because it is the middle ground, the sensible ground. Not a diamond, not nothing, but a pebble.

turkey decorating 2

The secret to a long happy relationship has to be in the pebble but then, I don't want to marry them, I just want to decorate with them and I want them to want to stay put among the acorns and the crocheted sunflowers. They have to love you to do that.  I wonder if I have to pay for them for the rest of my life?

MESH BODY:  Maitreya  Mesh Body - Lara
MESH HEAD:  CATWA HEAD Skye
HEAD APPLIER:  Amara Beauty Tori
EYES:  .ARISE. Nona Eyes Olive
MAKE-UP:  S.E CATWA RETRO GLAM 60'S MAKEUP COLLECTION
NAIL POLISH:  Nailed It - All in One
OUTFIT:  GizzA Chantal
EARRINGS:  illmatic Square'd earrings
RING:  .:(CW):. Chiara Couture Ring Pure Nude
HAIR:  Elickatira  Kiki
SHOES:  Ingenue Zora Heels Merlot
POSES:  PoseSion
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