Wednesday, December 1, 2010
There are some add-ons to our technological cornucopia of tools that would have been so helpful in highschool.
Like the Stud finder .. imagine being at a dance when "those boys" ... you know the ones I mean .. clearly pass right by you as they scout out fresh meat to dance with ...acting like they are all that. You could walk up to them, pull the stud finder out of your purse, point and click at each one of them in turn and look at the reading and go ... "nope ... not a single stud in the group ..." and move on.
Or the girls who tell you that you are not even on the map and act like they are sooo much better than you and you are not worthy to breathe air on the same planet with them ...That is when you pull out the GPS in front of them and type in their name, study the screen, ask if there might be an alternate spelling, and then show them .. "NOPE ... you can't be on any map if the GPS can't find you!"
Stay tuned for next time when I tell you all about the magic a little duct tape and a stapler can work on snotty girls left alone in the washroom with you ....
JEWELLERY: Shade Throne
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
I was a camp counselor one year ... what the heck were they thinking .. but anyway ya .. they put me in charge of a bunch of kids and I thought it would be swell, rather than dealing with every night someone whimpering and crying over ghost stories and me having to walk them in and out of the huge tent all the girls slept in ... to the outhouse .. we would get them all to hold it for one big scared senseless horrorama fest. (hold the ghost stories .. NOT the need to go to the bathroom ...)
Ya there was no way I was going out there in the middle of the night with a flashlight and standing guard .. I was still scared from my time at camp ...
I never understood that. We were just little kids begging our counselors to go with us. "I am scared there might be a bear or a murderer in the woods and I have to pee .. can you come with me?"
"No you will be fine take your flashlight .. "
Right ... cause when the murderer comes for me I just shine the flash light in his face and he will go, "NO NO Not light ...." and he will put his knife away and slink back into the forest .....
"Should I least get super duper batteries .. these were no name brand .. I don't think murderers feel that threatened by no name brand light ..."
Anyway that was my plan for my time as a counselor .. save myself from being mauled by a bear or murdered .. don't allow them an opportunity to be scared every night .. contain the weenie pants. So we had a big night, campfire, ghost stories, scary stuff. We all dressed .. I played the idiot woman escaped from the insane asylum... my brother suggested it .. and we had this cool trick to touch a torch to a wire and the fire appeared to just explode in the fire pit. We all walked in to the circle from the woods, in the dark and POOF fire and the evening began ...
We told stories, we had a spook house .. we had kids screaming and calling for their mommies and those were just the football players ... it was kind of about that time we realized we may have taken it a tad too far ... the hysteria was building ...
So we separated girls and boys and took them to their tents and got them all calmed down .. silence .. and then there was this huge wind which just whooshed through lifting all the sides of the tents up and WHAM BAM CRACK sheet lighning, thunder, sheet lightning .. storm .. screaming, running bodies, feet on face as I was trampled trying to get out of the tent.... "Best Camp Counselor Ever" award ... lost forever ...
I think a couple of them are still lost in the woods in the mountains of Canada somewhere .. we were never sure how many we had to start with ... but their parents were not pleased, neither was the camp director and oh .. I was fired ...
Amazingly my brother did try to comfort me .. he said my portrayal of idiot girl was stellar ....
Friday, October 1, 2010
As fall approaches nature greets us with a feast of deep russets and golds and everything is crisp and vibrant. Kimmera Madison of Tres Beau greets the fall with her stunning "Monarch." Rich golds and tawny oranges offset with veins of black make this dress a knock-out. Each panel of the skirt appears to be a perfect butterfly wing attached at the waist of a sculpted and gathered bodice that is all caught with a large butterfly. The bodice is offset at the top with soft black feathers that skim across the décolletage making the dress incredibly elegant.
The options of length and sculpted or flex skirts makes this dress very versatile and adaptable. Monarch is available in store now and retails for $800L.
SKIN: Glam Affair
DRESS: Tres Beau
POSES: Striking Poses
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Have to love a dress that stays swirly twirly without you having to get all dizzy and everything ...and I do LOVE this one with the colours and the ribbons! It made me feel all nostaligic and then I thought ..... it kinda reminds me of square dancing ....
I just have one question about those square dancing outfits .... why? I mean crinoline and sparkles .. a 3 year old can carry it off but 82 year old grandma? Umm ...
There is a reason you have not seen "Barbie .. the square dancing collector's edition." Barbie doesn't do square dancing ... Ken maybe ... Barbie .. never ....
SKIN: Just Me
HAIR: Simply Britnee
Friday, July 30, 2010
Ever since I watched beauty pageants as a kid (forced to cause the Biffster insisted we watch all those things)and saw high heels with bathing suits .. I was in.
Originally it was simply cause the damage heels could inflict as opposed to rubber thongs (canadian for flip flops - and yes just imagine how confused we were when thongs came out in underwear and bathing suits .. it was not a pretty sight let me tell you ...all those white people on the beach with first strips of brightly coloured material between their toes and then later with rubber flat shoes on their who-who's) I wore the heels because not only could I kick sand in Biff's face, I could leave permanent marks on his face when he decided he could pick me up and throw me in the slough ....or cow trough ... or whatever ....
And then fashion won me over ... cause that is how it happens folks .. the unfolding of the fashionista in all its splendiforous glory ....
HAIR: Dr. Life
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
It is always important to have water fights in the summer. Whether you go full commando with the super duper machine gun sprayers, use full lawn equipment, buckets and hoses, kitchen gear - dishes and cups, or go for the water bombs (balloons).
Just one little tip ... you need to be the one with all that gear up there ... not the one trying to mind your own business and relax.
Summer is not about relaxing for crying out loud ....
SKIN: Just Me
HAIR: Simply Britnee
TOP: Just Me
LEGGINGS: Just Me
SHOES: Heart and Sole
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Paisley .... check.
Knee length ... check.
low cut ... um....ummmmmmmmm...
I will give the same answer I gave when I worked at a nursing home during university and they told me I needed to wear a bra because the inmates ...ooops seniors ... were complaining .... "maybe you should work on their social skills and what kind of a perv 80 year old is checking out a 16 year old??? "
Oh but the inmates told me later they didn't complain at all .. they kind of liked it and offered to burn their bras as well ... so then my question stands only rearranged a little ...
"What kind of 40 year old nursing queen perv is checking out a 16 year old?"....and seriously ... I really don't need an answer ...
Maybe church has changed a little over the years ... I am going in ....
Thursday, May 27, 2010
People always say "don't you remember WHERE THE WILD THINGS GROW from your childhood?"
Sometime it is good to remember that we all have different points of reference .. your childhood may not have been mine ...
Where The Wild Things Grow ... from my childhood?
That would be under my bed ...
PANTS AND SHOES: Purple Moon
SHIRT: Candy Doll
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I am really bummed that I was so limited in my thinking as a kid that I never looked beyond the obvious for fashion wear ...
I look at outfits like this that are just so cute and think damn all those combine and tractor parts lying around and they just annoyed me ....
I could have worn them!!!
And the fact it would have irritated the hell out of my grandfather just makes the whole idea even more exciting .... I mean this is the guy who forbade me to name any of the farm animals because they were not our pets for crying out loud ..... I can hear him now ... "PUT that Crank Shaft DOWN .. we don't wear farm equipment ... we tame the land with it for crying out loud. WE ARE FARMERS!!! What the helllll is wrong with you girl?? (there should be like a farm orchestra that plays some kind of bean growing symphony that stirs the hearts of all farmers when they make speeches like this ...) "Wait THAT is from my HAY Bailer!" "Is that my branding iron?"
I love it .. I am going to relive my childhood through hypnosis and go back and do all those things I should have done ... and didn't know about ...BONUS!!
JEWELLERY: Lily's Touch
FLOWER: Ticky Tacky
SHOES: Un Jour
Monday, May 17, 2010
I used to love playing with jewellery ... it felt so decadent to sneak into grandma's bedroom and look at all the treasures in her jewellery box ....
I really loved the pearls ......
Did you know that if you wrap them really tight around your brothers neck he stops calling you names? nodding ... yup they are much more effective than screaming SHUT UP!!!
I am pretty sure that was the Bible meant about casting your pearls and swine .. only they interpreted it wrong cause they do that sometimes .. hence the saying ... "it loses a little bit in the translation..." It should have read "don't cast your pearls on swine, save them for your annoying brother ..."
SHOES: Paper Couture
Saturday, May 15, 2010
One of my uncles ... had a farm .. ee i ee i o .....
And on this farm were tons of rock fences (oh sing it really fast ... pretend you are beyonce and cram 80,000 words into one line of the song .. it works...) ...ee i ee i o...
Well... enough of that .. someone turned off my playskool nurseryhymorama .... and I don't do aquondopella (loud singing without music... I made the word up .. I am a professional ..)
Anyways he had this farm with all these rock fences and gateways and arches and the story was ....
That this dude and his dudette had buried all their worldly goods for fear, during the war, that they would be attacked and lose it all. Now here's the thing .... um ... not exactly sure WHEN in the frozen Northland any attack was considered imminent ... but being as, according to the story, the stuff is still buried there ... sounds like wish fulfilment to me ....
Everyone assumes, because they were wealthy albeit who knows how that happened when they obviously weren't very smart .. that they buried things worth digging up ...
Could be they just buried more rocks ....
SKIN: Dutch Touch
DRESS AND JEWELLERY: aDiva
SHOES: Heart & Sole
Friday, May 14, 2010
Dressing in complete white has different connotations ... like if you try to do it after Labour Day beware of fashionistas with big sticks ... although now there is Winter White which is acceptable .. I think on account of Tyra Banks fell in the snow once and tried to cover her faux pasing with a .. "this is the look I was going for .. winter white ... " that is how professionals are .. always managing to make their faux pas look planned. I tried that as a kid and it just got me into more trouble ..
"What the hell do you think you are doing tying your brother up with his underwear in the closet and leaving him like that for hours??"
"Well ... I felt he lacked discipline and this would either bring the man out of him or eliminate him completely .. either way for us, his family ... BONUS!!!"
"YOU actually THOUGHT this through and STILL went ahead with it???"
"Yes just like Tyra Banks .... um .. maybe not .. wait let me restate that...."
Years of wearing another kind of white with negative connotations ... in the institution .. only one could argue that was more of a kind of dull grayish white .... but after enough meds .. no-one argues about anything ...
So you can appreciate the therapeutic value a white outfit like this has one me as I run through the fields trying to forget the smirk on my brothers face on visiting days .....
SHOES: Donna Flora
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I remember getting my first camera and taking a bazillion instantaneous photos and my grandparents being very concerned ...
My grandmother called me into my bedroom with all the pictures I had taken spread out on the bed and clucked at me .. which grandmas are wont to do .. I figure mainly cause their dentures are slipping ... but she clucked and I go .. "WHAT???"
"I want you to take a look at all these pictures and tell me how many girls you see in all these photos?" She nodded knowingly .. maybe pleased that at her age it was important to celebrate the small victories ..
She continued ... waving her hands all over the pictures .... "BOYS ... all of them BOYS!!!"
"So what's your point?"
"Your grandfather and I are worried that you are .. that you are .... BOY CRAZY!!" Her eyes misted up and I looked at her closely, confused, my eyes narrowing .... It finally dawned on me ... they were disappointed in me ...
I should have been a lesbian.
SHOES: Samsara Scarpin
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Here is Australia they are big on uniforms. They wear them to school and then in the work force you have the white collar uniforms, the blue collar uniforms and the flourescent uniforms.
The blue ones kind of suck .. anything dark and a blue shirt with a logo on it usually .. ugh and ugggily ... like I just could not live in that kind of box.
The white collar workers sometimes get the privilege of having a brand name designer doing their work ensembles and if they get really racy they get an extra seam here and a whoooot .. a ... scarf to add ....
The flouro guys get it the best .. they get anything fluoro, short shorts and work boots ...
Now THAT is fashion ... work it .....
SKIN: The Obscene
OUTFITS: Donna Flora
Monday, May 10, 2010
I never understood the fine art of tip-toeing .. through the tulips of anywhere else for that matter. I figured on a scale of 1 - 10, for a survival skill, it sucked big time....
I mean you aren't even actually on the tips of your toes which would then be called BALLET ... so it was set up for failure from the get-go ....
I was much more into running and climbing .....as fast as I could ....
Usually 'cause my brother was providing the impetus to gain those skills ...
You just tell me where tip-toeing has moved you up the ladder or saved your life in any instance ... keep those cards and letters coming in ....
SKIN: Dantel IT HAS JUST BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION THAT THESE SKINS ARE COPYBOTTED!!!! I considered taking the post down but then no-one would know why and this certainly does not reflect on the other designers. Leaving it up allows all of you to take a good look and avoid this shop completely. My sincere apologies to those skin designers who were ripped by this person to make this skin!!!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I am not sure parents are actually qualified to .. um .. parent ...
I mean think about it ...
First they give you the whole crooked intro:
There Was a Crooked Man
There was a crooked man,
And he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence
Upon a crooked stile;
He bought a crooked cat,
Which* caught a crooked mouse,
And they all lived together
In a crooked little house.
My intro was reinforced with cookies and milk, binky the bunny, and my blankey, all done in a pastel coloured room with soft music ....
I totally bought into the love of the crooked man ....
Then you hit puberty and "crooked men" takes on a whole new meaning and forget going to his house cause the whole "cat" thing is just a trick he uses to get you into his "crooked van."
Is it any wonder we are all so damaged???
HAIR: Dernier Cri
DRESS: LP Designs
JACKET: Little Fish
LEGGINGS: LP Designs
NECKLACE: JD Designs
BRACELET: Pacadi Jasha (closed)